Colt to my Head

CHORUS

If I had a colt to my head

And my unsaid wish was to be dead

And I pulled my finger

Squeezed the trigger

As a dull eager

Bullet bolted through the side of my skull and

Brains blood all over the wall

The crack of the pistol heard down the hall

Would you still love me? Or instead

Live better without me there at all

…I take that as a yes…

VERSE 1

Suicide can be an amazing thing

Especially when the one committing is me

Would I even be missed?

If I slit my wrist

Feeling the razor

Glide through my skin like paper

Hits the veins, makes me

Ball my hand in a fist

Maybe I shoulda first made a list

But I guess I can kiss that idea buh-bye

I need some assistance from my forty-five

Put the shit to my temple

Cock it and pop it

Till I see all darkness

‘Cept for a tiny gold lock it

Open it

Can’t believe what’s inside it

A picture of Britney

As happy as can be

On the other side

There’s a picture lackin me

Could this really mean

She’s better without me?

Does this mean

These things in my mind are right?

These voices that tell me I should just die

That I’m worthless

A loser and suicide

Everyone’s doing it

So why not at least try

I said I would never hurt her

But I guess I just lied

That offers sounding good

Maybe I should take it up sometime

CHORUS

If I had a colt to my head

And my unsaid wish was to be dead

And I pulled my finger

Squeezed the trigger

As a dull eager

Bullet bolted through the side of my skull and

Brains blood all over the wall

The crack of the pistol heard down the hall

Would you still love me? Or instead

Live better without me there at all

…I take that as a yes…

VERSE 2

This times the last

That ill ever hurt you

I thought I was just relaxing and having some laughs

But I never knew

Or I guess I did

So there is no excuse

So this lil’ rhyme I dedicate just to you

Before I grab the gun

Put it to my temple

Life isn’t so simple

But death can be easy as one,

Two, three, A, B, C,

I’m sorry I upset you constantly

I’m sorry I couldn’t be who I thought I’d be

But tonight, I’m putting an end

To every tear that I cost your eye

Cuz now I’m not me

I’m just an apparition

Changing its position

To fit in the wedge in

Your heart if it means giving submission

To what it is your wishin

Cuz I’m done with the stitching

Of my heart and fixing

My pole and goin fishin

Cuz ur my last fish and

I ain’t givin in

Or putting ya back in the ocean

As the explosion of the gun shot erodes me

Deeper than I’ve ever went before and

CHORUS

If I had a colt to my head

And my unsaid wish was to be dead

And I pulled my finger

Squeezed the trigger

As a dull eager

Bullet bolted through the side of my skull and

Brains blood all over the wall

The crack of the pistol heard down the hall

Would you still love me? Or instead

Live better without me there at all

…I take that as a yes…

VERSE 3

All the conflict in my mind

“You’re just lying all the time

She’d be better with you gone

Listen to me it’ll be all right”

Voices in my head

Hear ‘em now as I rhyme

Telling me to hang myself dead

Slit my wrist

Gauge out my eyes

Telling me all the fun ways to suicide

Jump off the roof into a pile of nails

Pierce my sides

Like I was Jesus Christ

Though I may need some help

And a cross the size

Of Andre the Giant himself

But one thing before I die

You, that’s all there is, and all there’ll ever be

Baby I need to know

Do you still love me?

And don’t worry this is just a story

Setting my mood as it is

I can’t kill myself

I love you and that’s why I can’t commit

Well to you I could

Cuz you’re all I have left

You’re the reason these words feel like my last breath

You’re the reason I don’t stick a knife

Right into my chest

And carve out my heart

You save me from death

But metaphorically I guess

You could say I don’t gat the balls

I tried when I was nine

But I was to small to know what I was doin

And I never knew then

That Id fall in love with you and

CHORUS

If I had a colt to my head

And my unsaid wish was to be dead

And I pulled my finger

Squeezed the trigger

As a dull eager

Bullet bolted through the side of my skull and

Brains blood all over the wall

The crack of the pistol heard down the hall

Would you still love me? Or instead

Live better without me there at all

Fuck I’m just such a depressing mess

Get the metaphor?

Without you I’m no longer Paul

-Lil’ P.E.S.T.